Confession: I'm not really a Christmas person. It's a statement that
often leaves people recoiling in horror and branding me a Scrooge,
especially when I admit that I've never been to Winter Wonderland,
and nor do I ever intend to. Most of the time, I shrug off the gasps,
the desperate cries of 'but it's Christmas!' and the force-feeding of
mince pies (I mean, does anyone like them?) because it's
easier and less awkward than having to explain why. Because if you
want the truth, it's not so much that I don't like Christmas;
rather, I've found it difficult to enjoy over the last few years for various reasons that I'm not mad keen on dragging up at the best of times, never mind when the festive season
rolls around. And I'm not alone. From family dramz to bereavement and
break-ups, Christmas can be pretty shit for lots of people,
for all sorts of different reasons. And if, like me, you're kinda dreading the onslaught of tinsel and fairy lights, here are a few
tried-and-tested ways to deal with the festive season when you're not
actually that into it.
1. Talk to someone
Don't keep it to yourself – talk to someone you trust (or even an organisation like the Samaritans) about how you're feeling and why you're finding the festive season a bit tough. You'll instantly feel a teeny bit better having told someone and having them there for you. Hopefully they'll be understanding enough to listen, support you and maybe even make you a cuppa while talk it out but remember, if they react in a way that's not particularly helpful (for example, I've had people tell me 'But some people have an even worse time at Christmas than you' which, of course is 100% true, but not exactly the best advice to receive when you're having a totally shit time) then it doesn't mean you're making a fuss over nothing. It's a reflection of them, not you, so try not to take it too personally.
2. Be as open as you want to be
If you're happy to disclose why you're not going gaga over the most
wonderful time of the year (so they say), then that's cool. But if
you'd rather not talk about it, then that's cool too. Just be as open
as you feel comfortable with, and don't feel under pressure to say
more than you want to about your awkward Christmas sitch. Generally,
I've been pretty low-key about my aversion to the festive season but
I've not wanted to lie either. 'Yeah, I mean, I'm not that much of a
Christmas person actually,' is my usual vague answer to people
interrogating me about my plans. Unfortunately, this has had the
tendency to provoke a billion other questions – *eye roll* –
which is often where the broken record technique comes in. Basically,
it requires repeating the same statement (or a variation of it) until
the other person twigs that perhaps you're not OK talking about it
and they need to back down. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't
– if it's the latter, just turn the question round to them. People
love talking about themselves, right?
3. Don't pressure yourself to do loads of festive stuff
If Christmas is good for one thing, then it's the fact that everyone
wants to go to the pub all the time which is definitely
something I can get on board with. Some of the other stuff, though,
I'm not so keen on. The aforementioned Winter Wonderland, for
example, or the time an ex-housemate asked if I wanted to go and
swoon over the carol-singers in the local church with him. I mean, that's way
too much Christmas for me to handle. When it comes to festive
plans, know your own boundaries and only say yes to stuff that you
actually want to do, and feel free to say no to the things that you know is going to make you feel a bit shit. Having said that,
though, don't count yourself out of things just because someone's
slapped the word 'Christmas' on it. Remember, a Christmas party is
still just a party – just with added tinsel.
4. Spend Christmas the way you want to
Of course, this isn't an option for everyone. But if you do have the
opportunity to spend Christmas with the fam (yours or someone
else's), friends or your partner, volunteering in a shelter, or if you wanna sack everything off
and fly to the other side of the world then do it. Wanna spend it by yourself? That's cool too but make
sure that really is definitely what you want, and that you're not
going to spend the entire day curled up in the foetal position on the
floor. And if spending Christmas Day solo really is the one for you,
then make sure that you have someone you can call – it's always nice to hear a friendly voice and if you change your mind (because you're allowed to do that) then you can always pop round to theirs or vice versa.
5. Take some time out
Festive fall-outs, PDAs on social media and all your relatives shoved
into one room: Christmas can be overwhelming for anyone. If you're
dealing with some stuff right now, or you're spending Christmas Day a
little differently this year, don't be afraid to take some time out
and chill. Whether you feel like taking the dog for a
walk, listening to your fave Spotify playlist or – like me –
lying on the bed and scrolling through the ASOS sale for half an
hour, then do it. Just let someone know that you need some space and
you'll BRB – no biggie.
6. Remember – it's only one day
Even though Christmas might like it's never gonna end, it will –
promise. The fairy lights will come down, the cheese boards will be
consumed and Christmas jumpers will retire to the backs of wardrobes,
gathering dust until next year. Normal service will resume. Just sit
tight; Christmas – and the shit it might've dragged up – won't
last forever.
